Apparently nothing sparks the urge to blog like spoiled brat baseball players acting out. Adam LaRoche recently retired because White Sox boss Kenny Williams asked him to cut his cute and fuzzy 14 year old Drake out of the baseball operation half the time. Yes, the dude is walking away from a guaranteed $13 Million because he can only bring Drakey on half the fields, half the hanging with the greats of the game, half the disgusting baseball habits of tons of chewing gum and crotch grabbing, half the life of Riley. My soon to be 8 year old (I love you Bowie!) stamped his feet because he didn't get to play this morning before eating breakfast. I get that. He's 7. LaRoche just blew up his son's chance at spending half his summer living the dream of a lifetime palling around with Major Leaguers because he couldn't be there all the time? I can tell you one thing, he's no (harsh language warning) Janice in accounting.
And now pale hose Ace and Che Guevara pretender Chris Sale has practically lead a revolt in support of little Drakes everywhere by almost boycotting a game and calling Kenny Williams names and banishing him from the clubhouse. Yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it Kenny. You're not aloud in here any more you nincompoop. Deadspin has an interesting take on this whole thing, positing that Kenny's wearing the black hat for others in the White Sox clubhouse who were sick of Drake but want to remain anonymous. Kids in the clubhouse is a time honored tradition, it's as American as loudmouth arrogant and ignorant businessmen running for President for goodness sake! Would we have Ken Griffey Jr or all the Boones (there's got to be more Boone catchers in the pipeline, there's just got to) or big league chew without kids in the clubhouse? No way. And I just love the Red Sox being asked about this whole thing. The more clubhouse etiquette questions for cute reporter paramour John Farrell to tiptoe around the better I say.
I think this boils down to one thing: lack of production. When Mr. Laroche signed a two year $25 million deal with the White Sox on November 25th of 2014 he was coming off three straight years of 20+ home runs and middle of the order batting for the Washington Nationals. Sure, a closer inspection reveals a dip in 2013 followed by the free agent push in 2014, making 2015 and 2016 more of a gamble. But I don't think anyone could foresee his slip to a meager .207 batting average and 12 homers last year. I'm betting if he had managed 20 bombs and even hitting .250 it wouldn't matter. But right now it could be some teammates as well as management are sitting there going 'more worky, less Daddy'. Kind of like what Panda Pablo Sandoval is going through right now. If he had his kid with him 100% of the time even the not a leg to stand on Sox Manager would ask him to dial it back. And you know punky Pedroia would let him hear it every minute of every day (you're my favorite Pedroia, I kid, I kid). No, instead of being a bad ass in the batter's box and redoubling his efforts and showing his kid how to do things the right way, Adam LaRoche hung em up. I think the White Sox will be just fine without him and Drake.
Until next time,
The SAHD
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